The Chronicles of the Lily Flower and I

Gagotheko Mothai

Let me paint a picture for you, her beauty is drizzled in dimples and caramel complexion with a dash of a pear-shaped body; and most importantly the way she walks seals it all. A whole package she is. As soon as I got the chance to sit down and engage with her, I came to the realization that she is a true definition of a lily. At least I got to openly admire and cherish her in my imagination as Botswana robs that away from me.

Botswana is peaceful, botanically beautiful, cultural, democratic and painful at the same time. I say painful because I cannot be who I really am without being bullied, judged, stigmatized or discriminated. Yes I am female bodied but my fellow countrymen will tell you that “I am a woman” and I will repeatedly tell you that am only human, as I do not identify as female or male. According to our cultural norms influenced by the binary world there are only two gender identities that everyone is expected to fit in, male and female. This leaves a lot of diverse persons sidelined and looked at as some outcasts. Personally, if asked to pick a gender I would say I am possibly a swamp of bees in disguise. Anyway, back to the main reason for this little chat between me and you, I met some lady through work sometime back and I would love to address her as “the lily flower”. Lily flowers are those little adorable aquatic plants with food underneath commonly known as, “tswii” (see how rich a lily is?) but you can add your own explanation of a lily cause am sure we all have beautiful ones.

So firstly, being in an intimate relationship with anyone of the same-sex in Botswana automatically gives people the right to look down on you and changes how they all been looking at you to a complete negative perspective despite the decriminalization that took place on June 2019. As someone who is emotionally, romantically, psychologically and sexually attracted to people of the same sex like this “lily flower” I came across, I live in pain if not under shadows of my agemates who are regarded good just because they are heterosexuals. This homophobia robs me the love and light that I need in my life as this lily flower cannot be out there in the community and shout that she is in love with me.

I skipped the part where I let you know that we are finally in love, of course secretly. If you knew me, you would really know that I am a spiritual person. The lily flower is worth everything honestly since we are already here, what happened to that BCL mine? Don’t you all think she deserves it too? She is a lily trapped in a desert of course she deserves it. Anyway, before I bore you with my sweet love life, I cry for inclusivity, unity, acceptance and understanding for some of us who are gender diverse and attracted to the same sex. There is that one organization that fights for our rights as the LGBTIQ community in Botswana and it is not easy. Logically you never win a war where your opponent has more weapons than you do. Currently you would knock on church doors for acceptance and the church will say, the law doesn’t allow that, and you would go on and approach your political leaders who keeps on saying we do what the community wants and being gay isn’t what they want as if we are not part of that community.

When exactly will we ever be free in our own country? How many of us have to drown first into depression before we get our human rights fought for? How many more days do I have to live yearning for acceptance? When will the lily flower and I get a chance to profess our love to the world? When will we be able to stand in front of the church and declare forever to our story? What is it exactly that we must do to prove that we are also human? Until answers to these questions are found, the tale of Lilly and I will wait. I am Gybian GG, that female bodied non-binary kid based in Maun. I wish to share how old I am but just bear in mind that I am old enough.